OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
