grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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