it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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