It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
