My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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