Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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