So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
