I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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