Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
