Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
