Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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