She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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