come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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