the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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