worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
