Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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