All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize