I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
