Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
