She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
