I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
