Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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