Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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(804): View more from Virginia

If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..

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(206): View more from Washington

He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.

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(360): View more from Washington

my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.

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(410): View more from Maryland

The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.

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(+79): View more from

You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

(919): View more from North Carolina

Thats Poetry

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(314): View more from Missouri

A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.

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