WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
