didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he laminated a picture of his dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Randomize
