omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
