dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
