This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You ate ashes out of my bong
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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