Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
