Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
