I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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