xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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