idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
