I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
