ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
