My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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