I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
my being single is dangerous.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
