At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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