Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
