Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
