..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
