ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
