Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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