Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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