Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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