were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Randomize
