It's Friday. Sex?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
