who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize