last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
