Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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