Quick, to the slutcave!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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