That's intense
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
