my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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