just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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