Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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