I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
