dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Found your dick twin last night
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
