I didn't shave. On purpose
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
