Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
